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Losing you was like landing in the darkest pit of Hell. Meine susen. Mi milagro. In the beginning, you couldn't let me go. I was all you wanted. Or was it all just a trick, some game you played with my feelings for your own amusement?
You should be ashamed. Anybody else would. If I did to someone else the things you've done to me, I would die of shame. You don't even think you've done anything wrong. Or maybe you are aware of the way you hammered and posioned my life with your lies and your cruelty, but you either simply don't care or you secretly and sadistiy enjoy it.
I don't want to believe that someone who appeared to be so in love with me can be so inhuman, but the evidence suggests that human emotion is lacking in you. You know I'm destroyed and you know why - and so does everyone else. Oh, the cold and bitter landscape that is your heart. How empty and alone you must feel. How can one human being do to another the things you did to me? Cruelty, neglect, deceit and abuse. You tortured and ridiculed me because I know you lied. Narcissistic rage. Psychopathic vengeance. Abject arrogance.
You are not a human being and there is no hope for you. You feel only contempt for me for one reason - I know the truth and I'm not afraid to tell it. You are a freak of nature; an inhuman inhumane monter, devoid of any capacity for feeling - no empathy, no conscience, no remorse, incapable of the love that you crave and pursue. It is the saddest thing that I have ever experienced. Knowing that your heart is empty and that there is nothing you can do about that causes in me an incessant screaming. Frustration, sadness, anger and fear, not so much of you, but for you. I imagine how someone must feel when they see their child born irreparably disfigured.
The most divine and sacred part of us - our conscience, our capacity to love, our ability to connect with the emotions of another human being - is not in you. You are an actress, a simulacrum of a human being, a hollow hungry being desperately seeking something to nourish you and give your life meaning. I would tell you how deeply, how much, how totally and intensely I love you, how I hoped for you all of my life, how I would fight I have fought the powers of Hell to stand next to you forever, but I think the woman I would address is a figment of your imagination, a construct of your deceit, so, I would be talking to no one.
I love someone who never existed.
You never loved me. You fed on me. Your soul is hollow. You, evidently, are nothing. You have no feelings. Am I wrong?
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